A Gift to You for the New Year

A Gift

I want to give you a gift that can be used wherever you go and in every situation. It’s that useful! Now, the nature of any gift is that it’s free, but whether you use it or not…well, that depends on you. This gift has the potential to make your life more beautiful. More interesting. And perhaps happier for others and maybe even yourself. This gift I’m talking about is called The Golden Rule.

Have you heard of this rule yet? If you have, then I guess you have been given the gift already. If not, then read on.

The Golden Rule

What is The Golden Rule? It’s a rule of attitude and behavior. This rule can be stated in different ways:

• Everything you would like others to do to you, so likewise you do to them.
• Treat others as you would want them to treat you.
• Whatever you want people to do for you, do the same for them.
• Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then take the initiative and do it for them.

One Simple Question

The Golden Rule asks one simple question: What would I want someone else to do for me in a given situation? When I have the answer, I go ahead and do that same thing for that person…knowing it’s the right thing to do and doing it because it’s right. This is a rule that is very practical and can be used in every context…at home…on the road…in stores…in restaurants…at work…and at school…anywhere.

Applying It

The Golden Rule is easy enough to learn and remember, but how do I apply it in my everyday life? Allow me to illustrate with some real life stories. As I tell these stories, hopefully you will be able to think of your own examples from your life or those from others.

 Rachel and the Candy

A girl of about five was at home with her mother when a visitor stopped in for a visit. Before leaving the man asked the mother if he could give her daughter some candy. The little girl’s eyes lit up with delight upon receiving a small bag filled with candy from the man. After the man left, the girl, Rachel,  asked her mother if the candy was hers and, if so, then did she have to share it with her two brothers who were not at home at the time. Rachel’s mom, did say the candy had been given to her and it was hers to do with as she wished. However, in having taught Rachel The Golden Rule, the mother asked Rachel to think about what the Golden Rule would have her do. That afternoon Rachel spent time thinking about the candy. She asked herself a question, “If my brother had been given the candy instead of me, what would I want him to do?” The answer was obvious. She would want her brother to share his candy with her. In the end, she decided to keep the candy as an after dinner surprise for the whole family. After dinner that night everyone heard the story of what happened  when the visitor had come for a visit and each got a share of the candy, and everyone was happy, including Rachel.

At the Restaurant

My mother applied the Golden Rule whenever she went to a restaurant. At some point in her life she had asked herself , “If I were a waitress, would I want my customers to help by not leaving a big mess when leaving the restaurant?” The answer was obvious. She would want her guests to help tidy things up a bit. So, I think  you can guess what my mother always did after eating in a restaurant? As I child, I always watched my mother stack the plates and cups and silverware neatly at the edge of the table to make the waitresses job a little easier. Now that I am an adult, and am coming to understand The Golden Rule a little bit better, I am doing the same whenever I eat at a restaurant.

I Need a Motorbike

Have you ever been in the situation where you had to go somewhere but didn’t have a motorbike? If we were to apply The Golden Rule to this situation what would it look like? To answer the question we would have to look at both the person loaning out the motorbike and the one borrowing it. To the person with the motorbike, The Golden Rule asks, “If I needed a use a motorbike, would I want someone to loan me theirs if they had it available to loan?” The answer is obvious. Therefore, if I have my motorbike available to loan I will be willing to loan it out. To the person borrowing the motorbike, The Golden Rule asks a different question, “If a person were to borrow my motorbike, how would I want that person to treat it? The answer is obvious. I would want someone to take full responsibility for it and I would want that person to replace the gas they used. So…when I borrow someone’s motorbike I will take full responsibility in case of an accident or theft and I will replace the gas I use.

Broken Down on the Bridge: A Failure to Apply The Golden Rule

One evening when I was driving home from an English class, I saw a person up ahead pushing his motorbike. I slowed down a little bit, but didn’t stop. As I continued on across the Vinh Tuy bridge I thought of The Golden Rule and asked myself, “If I were broken down on the side of the road, would I want someone to stop and  offer to help me?” The answer is obvious. I would. By the time I decided to help this person, it was too late. I was more than half way over the bridge and could not turn around on the bridge. I had decided too late. In coming off the bridge, the thought came to me, “Perhaps the person had run out of gas.” I stopped in at a nearby gas station and asked if they had an empty bottle I could use it to put some gas in. They didn’t, so I continued on my way home. As I drove that last part of my journey home I  realized I had failed, but I decided that next time I would stop and not hesitate to help someone in need on the road.

 What About Your Stories?

What kind of stories do you have where you, or someone you know have followed The Golden Rule?

Failure

When I have broken The Golden Rule, what do I do? Well, what do I do when I fall down? I stand up. The same applies. When I have broken The Golden Rule I stand up and try again. Toddlers are very good at doing this. When you’ve broken The Golden Rule and have hurt someone because you acted selfishly you can help to start making things right by saying, “I hurt you. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” Allow yourself to be broken by it. Brokenness can bring positive change.

 What Would Happen…If…

• What would happen if I started asking myself, “What would I want someone to do for me in this situation?,” and then did it for others?
• What would happen if I started thinking about The Golden Rule more than I do now…at home…at work…at school…in the market…at the hospital…when driving…etc.

The Golden Rule Police

There are some who love to police others, but never themselves. The nature of this rule doesn’t allow for me to become a policeman or policewoman to anyone but myself. The Golden Rule is not thinking about what I want others to do for me and complain and grumble when they don’t do what I want them to do for me.

 Closing Thoughts

I choose the atmosphere I want. I have the power to make any place happier through the way I treat others.

The only one I am responsible for is myself. I can’t control your thoughts, but I do have control of my own thoughts. I can’t control your actions, but I do have control over my own actions. I can’t change you or anybody. If I try, I will end up a very frustrated person. But concerning myself, that’s a different matter! I can do something about my own thoughts and my own behavior.

You can’t make anyone practice The Golden Rule. There’s only one person you can ask to follow The Golden Rule.

I can only ask myself.

It begins with me.

Darren Czeczuga.

Educational Consultant