A Secret to Creating a Lifelong Close Relationship with your Child (Part 2)

 

                          Loving What Your Children Love

     

Animals… sports… cooking… sewing… fixing things… paper planes… crafts… exercise… reading… shopping…

What did you love as a child? Did your parents encourage you, and learn to love what you loved? What do your children love? These are some questions to think as you read this next section.

I am not a sports person now and I never have been one, even as a child. My son, on the other hand, is very athletic. He is good at all sports, but he loves soccer more than all the others. Because of his love for sports, I have learned to love sports as well. Together we practice passing the ball. He also participates in a soccer league which has weekly games. I do my best to make it to as many of his games as possible. I even sit with him sometimes to watch football matches on TV. I don’t do this for myself. I do it because I love my son and he loves sports, so I am learning to love sports,  too. As I participate with him in his loves, I know I am passing strings from his heart to mine that will bind us closer together as he grows up.

I know of another boy who at the age of 4 loved to play “farmer”. He had many plastic farm animals. In his free time he would set up his farm using his blocks to make fences to keep his animals in. One day he came to his dad and asked, “Dad, could you build me a barn to keep my animals in?” Dad said he would be happy to help but not on that day. He had some work that needed to be completed. His son, Andrew,  went away very happy, knowing that his dad would make him one. The next day, his son asked his dad again, if he could make him a toy barn. His dad once again was busy. His son was not discouraged though, because he trusted his father’s word.  And sure enough, that evening the dad came to his son and said that the next day he would make a toy barn for his son and he asked his son to help him. Together they worked on making  a toy barn for his son to use when playing with his farm animals. This dad expressed his love for his son by showing interest in what his son was interested in and even helping him to pursue his favorite pastimes.

I know that in Vietnam, many do not love or show interest in pets. My wife is one of these people. She thinks animals are dirty and should be avoided as much as possible. My children, on the other hand, enjoy animals. A couple of years ago we got a poodle. After much thought and some debate, my wife finally agreed because she knew how much my children enjoy pets. Since that time my wife has grown to like our dog, Taffy. Just yesterday I noticed my wife petting her. Amazing! What a miracle! Through her willingness to be flexible and to bend  in order to accommodate her children’s love for animals she has tied some strings to her children’s heart.

These are a few stories that illustrate how you, as a parent,  can change and learn to take interest in things that your  children deem important. By learning to love the things that interest your children, you will strengthen your relationship with them.

Blessings,

Darren Czeczuga.

Educational Consultant